


F*ck You in Flowers

by thehibiscusthief



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Inspired By Tumblr, Rated T for language, flower shop au, gotta be careful with those fbombs, now with correct currency three months after it was canceled good job me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7184918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehibiscusthief/pseuds/thehibiscusthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How do I passive-aggresively say ‘fuck you’ in flower?” the customer demanded. Adrien blinked. His mouth fell open as he took in the sight of enraged young woman, her black pigtails in slight disarray and her pretty pink lips twisted into a scowl.<br/>"Pardon?"</p><p>CANCELED</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fuck You in Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by http://koscheiis.tumblr.com/post/145738369188/flower-shop-au  
> look i know i havent updated repercussions in two weeks but this prompt was gold

_Ding!_

At the sound of the door opening, Adrien turned from the pot of white carnations he was watering with a pleasant smile on his face.

“ _Bonjour_ , mademois-” he started.

“How do I passive-aggresively say ‘fuck you’ in flower?” the customer demanded. Adrien blinked. His mouth fell open as he took in the sight of enraged young woman, her black pigtails in slight disarray and her pretty pink lips twisted into a scowl.

“Pardon?” he asked, licking his lips nervously.

She groaned. “I _said_ , how do I tell someone ‘fuck you’ in flower? There’s like a whole language, right?”

“Well, yeah, but most customers are looking for a, um, different sort of message,” he stuttered. Sighing impatiently, she jutted her hip out and crossed her arms across her chest. Eyes drawn by the movement, he noticed the flower embellishing her t-shirt. Cute.

“More of a ‘fuck me’ than ‘fuck you’?” she said sarcastically.

“If you want to put it that way,” he stammered, eyes darting back up as he picked up a spray of oleander. He began fiddling with the petals, nervous before the storm of his customer’s displeasure.

“So what flowers would it be?” she asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her pink jeans.

“What?”

“A passive-aggressive ‘fuck you’. What flowers?” she said.

“Oh! Um, you’d want… let’s see,” he began, turning around and looking through the shelves of plants. “Probably geraniums for stupidity, meadowsweet for uselessness, maybe foxgloves for insincerity, of course you’d need yellow carnations- they mean ‘you have disappointed me’- and some orange lilies for hatred to top it all off.”

“Perfect. How much?” she asked, digging through her purse.

Adrien did some quick mental math as he picked out the blossoms for her bouquet. “I think…49.75? Yeah, that sounds right.” He heard a muffled curse from her and turned around to see her holding a crumpled twenty. She bit her lip as she raised her eyes to meet his in an apologetic gaze.

“I’ve only got the twenty…”

“Oh! Um, no problem. I can cover it,” he stammered, a slight blush racing over his cheeks.

“But- that’s like thirty euros!” she protested, a matching blush rising on her own cheeks.

“No, no, it’s good. Consider it the cute customer discount,” he blurted. Silence fell between them, the pale pink camellias in their cheeks turning into the flush of deep crimson gloxinias.

“I mean, here are your flowers! Bye, see you later!” he screeched, pushing the bouquet into her hands and shoving her out the door.  He frantically flipped the sign in the window from ‘Open’ to ‘Closed’. Collapsing against the door, he let out a sigh before ramming his palm against his head to the chant of _stupid, stupid, stupid._

Outside the shop, his customer was also relying on the door for support. In one hand she clutched the ‘fuck you’ bouquet and in the other a crumpled twenty. She’d forgotten to pay in all the awkwardness. Had she just _stolen_ fifty euros of passive-aggressive flowers? She shoved the twenty back in her pocket and began to walk away from the shop. She'd return another time to pay the debt...

And maybe ask out the cute florist

* * *

additional flower meanings  
White carnation- sweet and lovely, innocence, pure love, woman’s good luck gift  
Oleander- caution  
Pink camellia-longing for you  
Gloxinina- Love at first sight

 


	2. How to Prep a Pot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i totally did not expect such a large response to the original oneshot  
> now that finals are over and i have nothing to do, i thought i might continue it

“Marinette, you know I support you trying to get laid, but isn’t this just a little desperate?” Alya asked, leaning over the stair railing to peer at her friend. Marinette scowled, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

“Little busy, Alya,” she growled as she continued to scrub the cobwebs out of an old flower pot.

“You’re growing flowers to impress a guy you met once and then stiffed. Definitely desperate. What happened to that bouquet, anyway?” Alya said curiously. Marinette paused, seemingly deep in thought.

_ “Ladybug! What a surprise!” Chloe had squealed. Batting her lashes, she continued, “I hope you’ve thought about my offer…” _

_ “Yeah, I gave it some thought,” Ladybug had huffed. She held the bouquet behind her back, arm awkwardly twisted to keep it hidden. By the sudden spark in Chloe’s eyes, though, she hadn’t been successful. _

_ “You brought me flowers! Does this mean you’ll go out with me?” Chloe exclaimed. Groaning internally, Ladybug had whipped the bouquet out with a flourish. Dear  Lord, Chat was rubbing off on her. _

_ “Look up flower meanings sometime, Chloe,” she’d said as she haphazardly tossed the bouquet at the girl. By some miracle, she managed to catch it. _

_ “I already know the language of flowers. You really think the Mayor of Paris would deny his daughter such an important part of her education? Please,” she had bragged. Looking at the bouquet again, a small smile began to spread over her face when suddenly her expression contorted. Ladybug could see her grip tighten around the stems of the delicate flowers. _

_ “How could you?” she’d sobbed, tears beginning to run over her cheeks. _

_ “Sorry, Chloe, I’m just not into you,” Ladybug had said awkwardly as she swung out the window, beating a hasty retreat. _

“Oh, I gave them to some guy who wouldn’t leave me alone,” Marinette said, returning her attention to the flower pot.

“‘Some guy.’ Right. Say, isn’t Nathanael back in town?” Alya pried. Her friend’s head shot up once again. Marinette turned to face Alya with a scowl.

“All right, touchy subject,” Alya said. She watched as Marinette began to load dirt into the pot. “You know, you’re doing that wrong.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to do it, Oh Mighty Flower Pot Prepper?” she asked with a roll of her eyes. Alya vaulted over the railing, dropping in front of her friend. Marinette granted her an amused smile for her theatrics.

“Does this pot have drainage holes?” she asked, motioning for the pot. Marinette reluctantly handed it over after dumping out what little dirt she had already put in. “Doesn’t look like it. Mari, hand me that toolbox.” Rummaging through the box, she pulled out a drill. Luckily, it had a masonry bit and would work for the terracotta pot. She drilled five holes in the bottom before handing it back to her friend.

“Can I put the dirt in now?” Marinette asked as she snatched the pot. Alya shook her head, chuckling.

“No, silly. It won’t drain well with just dirt. Do you have any plastic lining lying around?” Alya asked, already sorting through the mess of the basement. “Aha! All right, pass me those scissors.” Grabbing them from her friend’s outstreched hand, she quickly cut five holes in the plastic to match the drainage holes in the pot.

“What are we doing with that?” Marinette inquired as Alya sat down, still cutting.

“Well, if you’ll just hand me the pot-thank you- I’ll put this in so it won’t crack when it gets cold. Are there pebbles or something somewhere?” she said absentmindedly, trimming the edges of the lining. Marinette hauled herself up from the floor, walking to a corner of the basement.

“I’ve got some broken pots, will those work?” she called back.

“Yeah, perfect! Just drop them in the bottom of this one,” Alya replied as Marinette returned, hands full of terracotta shards. She gently placed them in the bottom of the pot.

“Now what?”

“Grab that bag of dirt and the trowel. Where did you want the pot to go?” her friend asked, standing up and hefting the pot.

“The balcony. It gets plenty of sun,” she grunted as she picked up the dirt. “Ugh, why is dirt so heavy?”

“Builds muscle. Come on, girl, we’ve got flowers to plant,” said Alya, climbing the stairs.

“Oh yeah, about that…” Marinette mumbled, staring at the bag in her arms. Alya halted, letting out a sigh.

“Girl. Please tell me you already picked out flowers.”

“Well…”

“All right,” Alya huffed, continuing up the stairs, “We can worry about that later. Let’s get this up to your balcony first.”

Half an hour and a bit of swearing later, the girls had successfully hauled the dirt and flower pot up to the balcony. It wasn’t as spacious as the one atop the old bakery, but there was enough space for a few pots and a chair.

“Now, about the flowers,” Alya began, crossing her arms and staring at her friend. Marinette began to fidget.

“I couldn’t decide! There were just so many choices,” Marinette cried, flopping onto the creaky chair. Alya leaned against the railing on the balcony and raised an eyebrow. “Honest!”

“Get up,” Alya commanded, imperiously flapping a hand at her friend.

“What? Why?” Marinette asked nervously, gripping the sides of the chair.

“We’re going to go pick out some seeds,” Alya said with a grin, yanking Marinette off the chair. “I know a certain florist who would be more than happy to help.”

“Alya, no!” she squeaked. “Can’t we just buy some online?”

Alya tapped a finger against her chin, pretending to consider it. “Uhhh...nope! Gotta pick ‘em out in person.”

Marinette deflated, acknowledging her defeat. “Fine. Just- not the flower shop from before. Please?”

“Sure, we’ll go somewhere else. There’ll be plenty of time to chat with him later, I suppose,” Alya said with a grin, pulling Marinette along. She already had the perfect flowers in mind; some purple hyacinths to apologize for not paying, and some spider flowers to get her friend’s romance started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spider flowers mean elope with me so uh  
> alya can go a little overboard as wingman sometimes


	3. The Sting of Rejection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about the title change(s)  
> i am fundamentally a wishy washy person  
> that being said, if i change it again someone better slap me

_ Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzz- _

“Chloe?” Adrien asked, picking up his vibrating phone from the shop counter.

“You will never believe what Ladybug just did to me!” 

Internally groaning, Adrien set down his watering can. He could tell this was going to be a long phone call. “What happened?”

“She  _ insulted _ me! Me, her best friend!” she squawked. 

“How could she,” Adrien said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m still in shock,” she said with a haughty sniff. “Honestly, it’s lucky Papa didn’t schedule any visits from diplomats this week. I’m simply devastated.”

“And why is that, Chlo?” said Adrien, already bored. He picked up his watering can again and began to make his way around the shop.

“I told you, she insulted me!” Chloe screeched. Wincing, Adrien held the phone away from his ear. She really had no concept of an inside voice.

“How’d she do that?” Adrien asked, gingerly bringing the phone to his ear again.

“Well, let’s see…” she said. He could hear her rummaging around, and a triumphant yell as she unearthed whatever she’d been looking for. “She gave me geraniums, foxgloves, meadowsweet, yellow carnations, and orange lilies! The nerve!”

Adrien froze. Those flowers seemed familiar. Had he… Had he found someone who knew his lady?

That was the only explanation. Ladybug must have asked that customer to pick up the bouquet for her. She could hardly stroll into a shop in costume, after all. He happily sighed at the thought that his partner had bought something- by proxy, admittedly- from his shop.

“-even listening?” an indignant shriek rang from the speaker. He’d completely tuned out Chloe’s rant.

“Yeah, of course,” Adrien lied. “But why did she get you flowers?”

An irate sigh issued from the phone. “I just told you! I asked her out!”

“You what?!” Adrien exclaimed, dropping the watering can. It hit the floor hard, cracking and spilling water everywhere.  He didn’t even notice his soaking shoes.

“Are you deaf? I’ve told you a million times!” 

“But why-”

“Ladybug and I have a  _ connection,  _ you know. We could’ve been so much more than just friends if she’d given me a chance. But she was so rude, I’m not sure she deserves a chance at redemption.”

Adrien snorted. Surely Chloe wasn’t talking about redemption. He’d dealt with the consequences of her actions plenty of times as Chat Noir even though he’d never seen her former classmates.

“Maybe you could get her some daffodils. Flowers might help win her over,” he suggested. He didn’t like the idea of Ladybug with Chloe, but anything was better than listening to her rant about it.

“Please. I’ll stick to withered bouquets,” Chloe scoffed. “I’ll never forgive her.”

_ Ding! _

At the sound of the door, Adrien looked up from the plants. “All right, Chlo, I’ve gotta go. Customers and all.”

“Adri-! _ ” _

“How can I help you?” Adrien asked, plastering his best smile on and ending the call. The customer didn’t seem to notice him, as she was absorbed in her own phone.

“Look, Mari, I know spider flowers might be a bit much, but you gotta trust me. What? No! No, are you serious? We spent all day cleaning out that pot, you can’t back out now! Listen- okay fine, I won’t get spider flowers. But trust my judgment, girl, I’m only looking out for your love life,” the customer said into her phone. She looked up, realizing Adrien was waiting on her. “Sorry, babe, gotta go.”

“Spider flowers?” Adrien asked, raising an eyebrow. “Planning a surprise wedding?”

The customer snorted. “Nope, just helping out a stubborn friend.”

“Well, some flowers might help convince her. What can I get you?” he said, gesturing to the racks of flowers around the shop.

“Actually, I was wondering if you sold seeds. I’m trying to grow my own,” the customer said, slipping her phone into her pocket.

“We don’t, sorry. We do have potted plants we deliver, though. Would that work?” Adrien said. The customer tapped a finger to her lips, thinking. Reaching a decision, she nodded sharply.

“That’d be fine.”

“All right,” Adrien said, digging around behind the counter for the forms. “I’ll need your name, address, a full payment, and of course what flowers you’d like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daffodils-Regard; Unrequited Love; You're the Only One; The Sun is Always Shining When I'm with You  
> withered bouquet- rejected love (the cheaper "fuck you" option)


	4. A Burning Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to amynchan, terracedsky, and a couple of anons for telling me to get off my ass and write  
> you, too, can speed up chapters by going to thehibiscusthief.tumblr.com and yelling at me

“Marinette, I’m back!” Alya called as she opened the door. She nudged it closed with her hip before moving into the kitchen and setting her purse on the counter.

“What’d you end up getting?” Marinette asked, turning away from a pot on the stove.

“Well, I would’ve gotten spider flowers to do my duty as best friend and expert wingwoman but  _ someone” _ \- Alya shot a glare at Marinette- “said that was going too far.”

“First off, I think everyone agrees ‘elope with me’ is going too far. Second, how do you even know flower meanings off the top of your head like that? I had to google it,” Marinette exclaimed, stirring whatever was in the pot.

“My boyfriend has a friend who’s a flower nerd. It rubbed off of on him,” Alya said, shrugging. “He gave me a good deal, by the way. Next time you need advice on wooing flowerboy, I’ll take you by his shop.”

“Oh yeah? What’s it called?” Marinette said absentmindedly, focused on the stove.

“What in Carnation,” Alya said, rolling her eyes. Marinette froze. “I know, it’s a horrible pun, right?”

Marinette slowly turned around, face slack and skin ashen. Alya’s eyes widened.

“Girl, was that the place you went to?”

* * *

 

_ Ding! _

“Nino! Hey man!” Adrien exclaimed, looking up from the arbor vitae plant he was watering. “What can I do for you?” 

“Yo! Alright, so Alya got a promotion recently. Do any flowers show pride?” Nino asked, twisting the cord of his headphones around his finger.

“Amaryllis sound good? Pride and beauty,” Adrien said, already moving over to select the blooms.

“Perfect, man,” Nino said with a grin. “How much?”

“Ten euros and your help with a delivery,” Adrien replied, handing the blossoms over. “Your girlfriend was in here earlier and her flowers are coming tomorrow.”

“No problem! See you later.”

* * *

 

“Alyaa-aaa,” Marinette groaned, letting her head drop. Her friend gave an apologetic shrug, chuckling.

“Sorry, babe. How was I supposed to know your one true love is Nino’s best friend?” Alya said, trying to hide a grin. “But hey, now you have an excuse to talk to him. The flowers are being delivered here tomorrow.”

“You wrote down  _ my _ address?” Marinette exclaimed, dropping the spoon in her hand. It clattered against the polished floor of her kitchen.

“They are your flowers, girl,” Alya remarked, idly twirling a scrap of paper left in the counter.

“That doesn't mean you send them to my  _ house _ ! Alya, what if he comes in and thinks I'm a slob? Then he would never want to talk to me again because he can't stand how messy I am and we would never go on dates and he would never propose with a gorgeous bouquet and we would never-”

“Girl. Chill.”

“Ah- right. Sorry. But still!” Marinette squeaked. “First impressions are important, Alya!”

“You already made a first impression, Mari. And judging by the free flowers, it was a pretty good one. What did he call it again? The 'cute customer discount’?” Alya said with a smirk.

“Second impressions are important too!” Marinette argued, throwing her hands up as she leaned against the counter.

“It'll be okay. We just have to pick up a bit and everything will be fine. He'll catch maybe a glimpse of your apartment and nothing more,” Alya said, consoling her panicked friend.

Marinette suddenly stood up, shoulders square and jaw set. 

“Then it'll be the best damn glimpse he's ever seen. Alya, get the vacuum!”

“Sure, girl. But uh, before that, is something burning?”

“Oh,  _ shit _ !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arbor vitae- unending friendship  
> Amaryllis- pride, stunning beauty  
> do you see what I did with the chapter title  
> im proud of myself  
> silly Mari, turn off the stove before freaking out about your crush


End file.
